Friday 9 December 2011

Dialogue, Kenny Brooks, and the art of selling door-to-door

Even a great actor needs good dialogue to get some jobs done. No? Try selling bottles of domestic cleanser door-to-door without saying a word. 

Back in the early 1970s I tried selling encyclopedias door-to-door. That's a tough gig. I got a few stories out of it, but not much money. Maybe that's why I like this video clip so much.

I don't know who Kenny Brooks is, where he is, or where he got his dialogue. I'm happy to believe he wrote it himself, though the teacher/class joke is older than I am.

This footage was shot at someone's front door, somewhere in California, some time back in 2010. Here are a few of Kenny's better lines:
  • Your neighbor said I remind him of Nicholas Cage, because I'm gone in sixty seconds.
  • No water spots, no finger prints, no streaks. That’s why we can’t sell it to criminals. Don’t tell O.J. or Tiger Woods, okay?
  • I been on a roll like toilet paper.
  • You just go back and forth like a argument.
  • That one bottle lasts longer than my last relationship.
  • This is my last demonstration, then I'm outta your hair quicker than your favorite shampoo.
  • Unlike Madonna, its never been touched.
  • Your house is bigger than my whole neighborhood.
  • Don't panic, its organic.
  • I told you it won’t fade color, remember? That’s why we couldn’t sell it to Michael Jackson.
  • Y'all cooler than the other side of the pillow.
  • You can do cash, cheques, or chicken wings.

Okay, here's Kenny Brooks.

1 comment:

Ian said...

"I been on a roll like toilet paper."

That was my favorite one. All these lines are great though.