An Oscar warm up...

I love the Oscars. The expectations, the hoopla, the hope, the fear, the misery of losing, the (carefully disguised) hatred. There's nothing quite like it.

And I love the hosts. Well, some of them, anyway. Billy Crystal's been the best. He took a break for a while, but this year he's back. Can't wait for it.

To keep us all humming until the show kicks off, here's the Billy Crystal introduction to the 2004 Academy Awards. Sit back and watch how an expert handles it.
 

In case you can't remember, Lord of the Rings III won Best Picture, Peter Jackson Best Director,  

Sean Penn Best Actor, Charlize Theron Best Actress, Tim Robbins Best Supporting Actor,  

Renée Zellweger Best Supporting Actress, Lost in Translation Best Original Screenplay,  

Lord of the Rings Best Adapted Screenplay, and Finding Nemo Best Animated Feature.

I'm assuming you've already won your Oscar (in your dreams, anyway). The important thing now is making sure you know how to care for it. The Oscar, yes. You've accepted a weighty responsibility, and people will be watching. 

For a short course in the etiquette of grip, check Kirsty Stark's Oscar photo. For a more detailed explanation, follow Kevin Kline through his... refresher course. Chop!