Saturday 14 April 2012

Weird and Wonderful Movies That You’ll Never Get to See

A couple of months ago, i09 magazine ran an article titled Weird and Wonderful Movies That You’ll Never Get to See.

Things to learn there include the fact that less than 5% of all films ever made are currently available to the public. 

Some of those currently unavailable, but known to historians and other interested parties, include:

The Last Moment (1923). In this love triangle between Hercules Napoleon, Doris Kenyon, and The Finn, 'The Thing' rules their ship until that exciting moment when Herc throws 'The Thing' into the sea. (Sounds like a television wrestling show.)

Ingagi (1930). A bogus documentary, shot on sets built at the Los Angeles zoo, Ingagi took $4million in box office in 1930 alone. The elaborate hoax came undone when an audience member recognized an "African native" who'd come straight from Central Casting.

Popdown (1967). A pair of extra-terrestrials come to Earth to investigate pop culture. Intended to be a lighthearted look at swinging London through the eyes of alien visitors, the film features music and appearances from bands like Dantalion's Chariot (which included Andy Summers, future guitarist for The Police), Brian Auger and the Trinity, Blossom Toes and The Idle Race, as well as the entire 1967-68 roster of Marmalade Records

Sinews of the Dead (1914). According to a 1914 issue of Moving Picture World, "A more harrowing conception than the theme of this picture could hardly be dug up. It is illogical, disgusting and not deserving of further comment, except that it is well acted, directed and photographed." 

Amanita Pestilens (1963): A Montreal suburbanite obsessed with his award-winning lawn goes off the deep end after finding it overrun by a strange fungus.  

Never the Twain (1974). Brad Grinterdirector of Blood Freak (the legendary monster movie in which marijuana transforms a man into a mutant turkey) and Flesh Feast (where Veronica Lake, in her final role, uses revitalizing facial maggots to zombify the corpse of Adolf Hitler)managed to top himself with his long-lost penultimate film. The premise: After regular guy Richard Webb is possessed by the ghost of Mark Twain, the unlikely duo attend the 1974 Miss World Nude Pageant.

And many more. Have a read, it'll make you feel better about your own films... maybe.

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